To those who care to read a reflection upon my past year, I think I'm finally on the road to becoming the person I've been called to be. I certainly lack quite a bit still, but overall this has been the best year yet. I don't think any three years of my life has seen the sadness, joy, and exhaustion I saw in this one. But through it all, God has remained faithful. I begin with my great joy this year in truly being a brother to my sister. Though I've failed her innumerable times, I've been truly blessed by this person who still chose me as her companion to face some of her dark moments of life, and I call it my utmost privilege to have seen the transforming and abundantly gracious work my God has done in her this past year. I also remember moments of actual connection with my mom and dad. They remain the biggest draw on all my reservoirs of patience. Yet God has shown me the possibility of dialogue so I'm content. By no means have they become any less...difficult. But God has shown Himself to be sufficiently able to bring a measure of honesty into our relationship. The wedding of my brother. I share in his joy in meeting his happily ever after at the alter. The passing of my uncle. Though he's having the greatest day now, his absence remains a profound empty place in the lives of those left behind. You are missed...so very much. The quitting of my first job. The one "graduation" I actually celebrate haha! I certainly learned so much about myself from my years there...most notably that I yearned for more... The admission into law school. My current source of never before encountered levels of frustration and exhaustion ... but also the occasional whispers of purpose. I guess I'll end this by echoing John Wesley's dying words, acknowledging that "best of all, He is with us." How can I continue to struggle with the loneliness that had pervaded so much of my life, when this year has shown it to be ever so untrue. My God has heard my heart's every plea and answered [not always with a yes though =\ ]. And He will never leave me nor forsake me. I've been given more than enough. So that's that. Happy birthday to me. Huzzah. =) Till next time, Joe |